As My Life Changes
by xx0melanie0xx
Summary: What Kris has gone through so far in life has been rough from what we've seen. But lets see what Kris really think about her past life and her present.
1. Chapter 1

Over the past few years, I've been through a lot. I stole a car, went to Lagrange, and then went to Raintree. I stole Wildfire, went back to Lagrange, got out, and went back to Raintree. I dated Junior, and then dumped him. I met Kerry, dated him, and then he crashed his plane and died. So, as you can see, my life is full of drama. But I guess it was that way ever since my mom started taking drugs. Dear ole mom, she's never been there for me. She never told me that she loved me and actually meant it. I never had a real family. Sure, I had a brother and a mom, but they were always gone doing God knows what. Most of my childhood, I'd sit in the corner of the rundown apartment and cry. I prayed every night to find something better. I prayed that I would find someone that loved me. And when I went to Raintree, my prayers came true. I found love at Raintree. I found Junior and then I let him slip away. I lost a part of myself that day; nothing was the same after I broke up with him. I broke his heart, and my own.

Awhile after that breakup, I met Kerry. He was sweet, cute, and funny. But he was nothing like Junior. I never felt safe in Kerry's arms. But when I was with Junior, I felt safe. I felt safe from all the harms in the world. I felt like he could protect me from anything and everything. And I liked that feeling; I liked that feeling a lot. He's the only person who made me feel special. I don't think I ever felt so deeply about someone before. Anyway, back to my life story. After I stole the car, I went to Lagrange. They were teaching us how to ride horses. That's where I met my one true friend, Wildfire.

Sure, he's a horse, but he understands me. He cheers me up, when I am down. I can talk to him, and he listens. I can talk to Wildfire about everything. He always understands what I am feeling. I know it may seem weird that I talk to a horse, but he knows me better than anyone could. I can tell him things that I can't tell other people, not even Junior. It's not that I don't trust him; I just have to know if he cares about me enough to understand everything I've gone through. Junior's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but I don't think I can depend on him. I know it may seem that I'm talking about a lot of things all at once, but that's how my life is. My life seems like its scattered all over the world. I feel like I can't hide what I'm feeling; people just know when they look at me. Things can change before you know it.

I suppose you all know the saying, 'You never know how much you love something until it's gone'. That's kind of what happened with Junior. Every time he said that he loved me, I either just sat there, or I just smiled. I could never tell him my true feelings. I was to afraid of getting my heart broke again. And I just don't think I can handle something like that again. But when I let him slip away, I realized how much I really do love him. The funny thing is, he always tried coming back. He never gave up. I've never seen that before. In my past relationships, I'd break up with him, or he'd break up with me. And that would be that. But Junior was different; he didn't want to let me go. But I wasn't ready to forgive him for what he had done to the Ritter's. I know it may seem like awhile ago is when all this happened, but it was just the beginning of everything else.

The Ritter's mean very much to me, and I hate to see them get hurt. They were my one true family. They let me come into their home and be a part of their family. Even though we're not related, I still feel like I'm part of the family. You have no idea how good that feels. It's funny; all of my mistakes lead to happiness. I just don't get it.

My life has changed the past few years, it's changed a lot. But, for one time in my life, I feel like I actually belong.

**A/N:** I was thinking of making this a one shot. But I don't know. You tell me, because I can't decide.


	2. Chapter 2

I never used to understand what love was, until I met Junior. He loved me, and I knew it was true. Every time he told me that he loved me, every time he held me, I knew he meant it. Junior's a great guy, and I miss him dearly. He respects his sister and me. He never tried to hurt me, emotionally or physically. He was always sincere to me, he cared for me and he didn't want to let me go. I know we both still have that spark, even when I was with Kerry. I do believe that spark will remain there forever. You can't just, forget about your first love. He'll stay in your memory forever. You'll think about him now and then for the rest of your life. That's what I think of Junior, my first love. I've never been in love before, and if it was love that I felt with Junior, then I want that feeling back. He brought out a part of me I didn't know I had. He made me feel like I could do anything, like I was on top of the world. Nothing else mattered in my life after I broke up with him, well except racing.

After Kerry crashed his plane, I had my chance to get that feeling back. But I blew it, I sent him away again, I don't know why I keep sending away someone who will make me happy. I guess, well I'm just scared, scared of getting hurt. So I tried saving myself, but obviously it didn't work. It never seems to work. Every time I meet someone that I think I could love, I push them away. I pushed Junior away, and I knew I loved him, and I still do. I feel like, if I push him far enough, he won't try coming back. And that scares me; I want him to come back. I want to cuddle in his arms; I want things back the way they were. Every other guy I've been with was only trying to get in my pants. At first, that's what I thought of Junior, the rich kid that gets everything he wants and just tries to get in girls pants. But once I got to know him, I saw a different side of him. He was sweet, caring, considerate, funny, respectful, and sincerely cared about me.

He knew my mother hurt me, I don't know how, but he could just tell. He seems to know everything I'm feeling by just looking at me, I didn't know he knew me that well, but I guess he did. I remember all the things we used to do together, all the passionate kisses that we shared. Everything, I remember everything that happened with Junior. I can't forget everything he's done for me, he's done more than I can ever imagine. He's always there when I need him. And that's surprising for me. I've never had someone that was always there for me like Junior is. Junior and I act different around each other now, and I hate that. I want things to change between us. I want thins the way they were. But I can't change that, it's too late. But if it weren't, I would make everything right. I would tell Junior my true feelings, I would tell him I love him.

Sorry for the delay! Had some problems, but all is good now!


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